ITS NEVER MY FAULT
WINNERS ARE THOSE WHO LEARN TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
LOSERS ARE THOSE WHO BLAME OTHERS FOR THEIR FAILURES.
BLAMING. An easy thing to do isn’t it? Pretending to be not responsible for your actions. Focusing on yourself and taking others for granted. The easiest thing we do in our everyday is playing the games. The game we play often and enjoy till it lasts. The game where when we lose, we are safe and when we win, we are in danger. The game that looks easy on the outside and yet is painful and dreadful on the inside, especially for people involved in the game. Yes, I am talking about the BLAME GAME. While most of us refuse to be a part of it willingly, we are always trapped in its alluring web of blames and victimizations.
Each time we try to show we are incapable of doing a work because of somebody else, we know we are in the game. Simple things like “he/she gave me the reports late”, “God is always unfair to me”, “maybe he/she never loved me”. When we use these statements, we know we are the part of the game. We know that the shield we are trying to use to compensate our shortcomings and incapability. This is harmful to us and to the person we are blaming.
Each time we blame someone or something, we feel some sort of power and we pamper our EGOand make it feel better. While we blame someone, we are almost destroying somebody’s self- esteem. I say almost because not everyone would allow you to break their self- esteem. However, while we cosset our ego, we rescind somebody’s self-esteem. Let me explain this in a more figurative way, with a small activity.
Imagine you are drawing a circle with the color of your choice. Now divide it into two halves and draw the line of symmetry with a sharp ball point pen. Now, one side is the ego and another side is the self-esteem. You may now understand the phrase, “there is a thin line between ego and self-esteem.” Many of us take time to understand the difference between ego and self-esteem. If we go by the definition of ego, it means a persons sense of self-esteem or self-importance. While the definition of self-esteem means confidence in ones own worth. If we put together, one can say that ego and self-esteem go hand in hand. However, the difference is the sense and the confidence. The part where hands often fight rather than being hand in glove.
Ego and self-esteem may seem same but they vacillate at different levels. When we let ego take over, we are on the road to rescinding our relations and self- esteem. Ego in a relationship can be fatal and it often makes one lose control. Whereas, self-esteem in a relationship can be fruitful and makes one feel empowered. When control is the focus of a relationship, it is bound to drain the energy out of a relationship.
Let me share a childhood memory which is deeply ingrained in my mind. Ms. Ganguly was a favorite teacher of mine, but she did something which I truly and constantly disapproved of. Ms. Ganguly would often forget to teach us important nuances of her subject. But she would never ever admit it and which resulted in losing huge marks in our exams. And upon asking she would blame us for not studying hard and find faults in our examination papers. As a young girl, I never understood why she did it. As a grown up, however had my fair share of people who blamed more than taking responsibilities. And I realized that people often do that to save their skin or boost their egos.
But we all should learn to keep an eye on ourselves and not play blame games but at the same time not allow others to make us victims of their thought process. As the saying goes by Shannon S.ALDER, “THE BATTLE YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS NOT FUELLED BY WORDS OR ACTIONS OF OTHERS. IT IS FUELLED BY THE MIND THAT GIVES IT IMPORTANCE.”
So are you a blame taker or a blame giver. PUT what you are in the comment box and wait for surprise 30 minutes power session with me. SEE YOU SOON.